hard

Having a second child is hard.

I know those of you with more than two children are shaking your heads, thinking about just how much harder it can get.

But for me, two has been hard.

It's getting easier, nearly four months in. I'm starting to be able to do some of the things I had set aside. You know, like cleaning bathrooms. Or cleaning... anything. I'm starting to get Kieran on some sort of routine, and I'm figuring out how to multitask enough to keep everyone fed, changed, dressed, and reasonably happy. Sleep deprivation is still a part of my life, but not in the mind-numbing way it once was. I'm starting to blog again. Slowly but surely, I am getting my life back.

But it's a different life.

A life of double strollers and not enough hands and nursing while walking.

I nursed Kieran in the powder room this afternoon, sitting on a little plastic stool, steadying Lyndon as he sat on his potty seat.

I know I'll be overjoyed when my little boys start playing together, when they whisper to each other from their beds at night, but right now, I'm just overwhelmed. I have an infant. And a toddler. I am a mother of two. And it's the hardest thing I've ever done.

the promised belly shot

So, I never did get around to taking a belly shot picture past 32 weeks. Oops.

But I got a good one tonight.

Baby on the inside, baby on the outside. Still a belly shot, right?

32 week belly shot: like puberty, but faster

My apologies for the prolonged silence; the stuff of life has gotten in the way of blogging (Thanksgiving, pregnancy, motherhood, stuff like that). But now I'm back! And what a post to be back with. Having reached 34 weeks of pregnancy this past weekend, I thought it was high time I posted my 32 week pictures. These were actually taken on week 32. (You'll see the difference in two weeks when I post the next set. Oy.)

I got to a point in my pregnancy with Lyndon where nothing fit. I'm not talking about that sweet 20ish week moment when you realize that you need a pair of maternity pants for the first time. No, I'm talking about somewhere in the mid 30s, when you put on a maternity standby you've been wearing for weeks and it suddenly doesn't work.

It reminds me a little of puberty, only faster. I remember, starting around age 12, going to my closet every 6 months or so and discovering that some things just didn't . . . work. It wasn't that I'd grown out of them, necessarily, at least not everywhere. It was just that they fit . . . differently. And not a good different. This stage of pregnancy is like that. The only difference is that instead of happening every few months, this happens every few weeks. So, I find myself employing the teenager method of dressing, you know, the one where you try and discard 5 outfits before you can leave the house in the morning.

Other than that, though, this third trimester is going wonderfully. I don't have aches or pains. I don't even have heartburn. I've only really had 2 leg cramps and can still breathe well enough to sing. If it wasn't for the extra 28ish pounds I'm carrying around, I wouldn't know I was pregnant at all. (If you're tempted to hate me for this, go back and read about my 29+ hour labor with Lyndon. I had a fantastic pregnancy with him too.)

Well, little one, it won't be long now! I can't wait to meet you!

28 week belly shot: oh hello Braxton Hicks; I remember you!

I totally meant to post a 24 week belly shot . . . and then I woke up one day and was 28 weeks instead. Oops. That's how this pregnancy has been, though. Chalk it up to it being Baby #2, but everything has just been so much less . . . remarkable this time around. It's still awe-inspiring, when I stop and think about it; I guess the difference is that I have less time to stop and think about it.

Welcome to pregnancy 2.0, I suppose!

Wow is my bathroom mirror dirty! Sorry about that, folks.

Did you notice that I fixed the bathroom lighting issue (at least in this shot)? Compliments go to MckMama and her fabulous online photography workshop!

Adrian says (and I agree with him) that I'm carrying lower this time than I did with Lyndon. So far, I'm ok with that. Breathing is much easier than it was last time, and starting out lower just means Baby #2 has that much more of a head start (pun intended).

I put on a new shirt the other day and said, "Adrian, is it just this shirt making me look big, or am I really this big?" His reply? "You're pretty big." Only a woman who has never struggled with her weight could accept that kind of brutally honest answer. He's right, though. This big belly kind of snuck up on me. One day, I woke up and none of my pre-pregnancy shirts fit, even the nice, long, forgiving ones.

In other news, those lovely Braxton-Hicks contractions that I had for so long with Lyndon are back. With a vengeance. I've been feeling them sporadically since I was about 20 weeks along, but they've picked up in the last 2 weeks or so. I now have them whenever I move too vigorously, which includes things like climbing stairs, standing up after sitting, cleaning bathrooms, and changing sheets. Oh, and picking up Lyndon. When I pick him up and put him on my lap, I am pretty much guaranteed to set off a contraction. They're uncomfortable this time around, too, especially since I usually have to continue what I'm doing instead of having the luxury of just making everything stop for a minute. Lyndon would be pretty upset if I threw him off my lap halfway through "Go Dogs Go" because my belly was contracting. Again, welcome to pregnancy #2. It's a little different this time.

cloth diapering 2.0

When Lyndon was about 3 months old, we jumped on the cloth diapering bandwagon. I knew, though, even before he was born, that he would be in cloth; I actually put it on my gift registry! After talking with friends, researching, and trying out a few brands, we decided to use BumGenius one size all-in-ones. They have worked perfectly . . . up until a few weeks ago. (For those of you who have never investigated the wonderful world of cloth diapers, you totally should! They're not your mother's cloth diapers anymore. Nope, these things can fit like disposables, complete with velcro tabs. They're a bit more labor intensive to wash than a normal load of laundry, but not by much. And when you consider, among other things, that each disposable diaper takes 250-500 years to decompose [source], it really all becomes worth it.)

Anyway, so we were plugging away nicely with our little stash of BumGenius, when I noticed that the velcro closures were dying. I tried picking the lint out of them and sticking them in the dryer (per the manufacturer's recommendations). No difference. After talking with a few friends whose BumGenius are lasting well into baby #2, I had to conclude that the problem is my washing machine. We inherited it from my in-laws, and, while it is old and not particularly gentle on clothes, it was free, and it still works perfectly. I am a use-it-til-it-wears-out kind of girl, so we are not getting a new washing machine until this one dies. Which means that, for our family, velcro diapers are not a viable option. Le sigh.

So, I started researching alllll over again. And I found this:

These diapers (yes, they're called Fuzzibunz) use snaps instead of velcro, which last longer, but don't give as tight of a fit and are known for causing leaks. The catch with this brand is that they're way more adjustable than your average diaper. It's all in the elastic-- see?

They adjust the same way adjustable-waist pants do: with a row of buttonholes on the elastic and a button on the fabric. I bought two just to try them out, and I am in LOVE. They're so trim and fit so well that I think Lyndon can actually move more easily in them, and I don't have to readjust the sizing every time I wash them. Snapping and unsnapping those BumGenius before and after every wash was getting to be kind of a pain, but the instructions say to make sure they're on the largest size before washing. With Fuzzibunz, that's not a problem. Oh, and did I mention they come with an extra set of elastic? Just in case.

So, I bought a set. And I put them in a bag in the nursery closet to await the arrival of Baby #2. New baby, new diapers, new beginnings, all of that. Then, last night, I reached the end of my rope with my poor, dying BumGenius. I put one on Lyndon after his bath, and there was just no way the velcro was staying on. With not a single disposable in the house, Adrian and I did the only thing we could think of: we duct taped that puppy. Yes, last night my child slept peacefully in a duct taped diaper. And his pjs were nice and dry this morning, thankyouverymuch.

So, last night after he went to bed, I pulled out the brand new Fuzzibunz and adjusted and washed them. Lyndon is in snaps today. And I am way too excited about it.

I joined the double stroller club . . .

Sometime in May, I decided I wanted to put our growing family in this stroller. Sometime in August, I found it on Craigslist! As you can see, the thing retails for nearly $400 new. The stroller I bought was barely used, about a year old, and in perfect condition. It came with a car seat attachment and (purple!) seat covers (retailing another $50), and I paid $250. I did have to drive to PA to pick it up and got horribly lost on the way, but it was all worth it for this:

Clearly, Lyndon already loves it. (See him on the seat back there?) He actually begs to take it for walks instead of our single Graco. And, honestly, I think it handles better than the Graco anyway.

Showing off the sit-n-stand option:

The space right behind Lyndon's head is where the car seat fits in; this was one of only two strollers I found that put the infant seat in the space closest to the adult. I love the idea of having the baby closest to me. And when the baby is ready to move up to the front seat, Lyndon will (hopefully) be mature enough to handle riding on the sit-n-stand section. It's a perfect solution for us; I'm just anxious to be able to put it to good use. Three more months to go!

20 (ish) week belly shot: bring on the nesting!

So, I'm the slacker who can't manage to take her 20 week belly shot, um, during her 20th week. In fact, today is the 22 week mark. But, better late than never!

The manual setting on my camera, when used properly, makes that bathroom lighting just a little more bearable. Oh, and yes, the haircut is (fairly) new. Thanks for asking. I'm kind of in love with it.

Let's see that belly up close!

Yes, my bellybutton has "popped". That means the baby's done, right? Kidding, kidding.

Actually, I'm not particularly eager for this little one to be done cooking yet. From about 16 or 17 weeks until about 25, I usually feel better than I do not pregnant. I am no longer lactose intolerant, for example. My mood is better than usual, and I have a ton of energy.

This week in particular, most of this energy has been directed into that phenomenon known as "nesting". To my knowledge, I never nested with Lyndon. Then again, I had a job that required me to clean and organize things all day long, so perhaps that fulfilled my nesting urge. But with this little guy, watch out! Suddenly, it's like my eyes have been opened, and I care, really care about all the half-finished or "good enough" projects around here. I sanded and oiled our teak dining room table, listed the whole set on craigslist (again), put up pictures that have been in my closet for months, organized Lyndon's toys into a system that should work for years, you get the idea. It's been fun, and I love that feeling of accomplishment at the end of the day. I would be perfectly happy to feel like this for the next 18(ish) weeks.

It's a...

Well, it looks like we will be continuing our church's tradition of having lots and lots of... boys. Maybe it's something in the water around here...

Anyway, all of Tadpole's measurements checked out just fine, and the technician managed to get a shot that guarantees it's a boy. I thought I would be just a little disappointed, but I wasn't. All I could think about was how cute his little nose is and how much trouble he and Lyndon will get into together. I'm so glad my two little boys will be able to play together and be friends. Yes, I hope a girl is in our future eventually, but for now, I'm excited at the idea of two little rascals running around here together.

What's for dinner? salmon and black bean "burgers"

So, I'm posting my second dinner recipe, and hopefully, I won't end up in the ER like last time. (I did wait until I had actually served dinner this time to post; maybe that will help.)

Anyway, here we go. My recipe is based on this one from allrecipes.com. I've made it as written a few times now, but the other day I had some fun tweaking it, since I needed to feed a few more people and wasn't about to add more salmon.

12 oz. canned salmon (that's 2 cans if you get it from Costco)
1/3 cup finely chopped onion (I've made it with both fresh and about 1 T. of dried-- good either way)
1 egg
5 saltines, crushed
1/2 t. Worcestershire sauce
1/4 t. salt
1/8 t. pepper
15 oz. can black beans ( I used about 3/4 of the can, but my husband is a beanophobe. You could probably use the whole thing if you wanted.)
1/4-1 cup water
1/4 cup flour


1. In a bowl, combine first 7 ingredients. Mix well.
2. Mash beans with a fork and add to salmon mixture.
3. Add water 1 T. at a time until mixture will hold together. Form into 8 patties.
4. Coat patties lightly in flour.

You can either pan fry these or bake them in the oven. I've done both. Obviously, the oven option is healthier (and more hands-off for those of you chasing little ones around), while pan frying gives a better, browner crust.

To pan fry: Heat 3-4 t. oil in skillet over medium heat. Fry 4-5 mins. on each side or until lightly browned and heated through.

To bake: Preheat oven to 375. Arrange patties in single layer on greased baking sheet. Spray patties lightly with cooking spray. Bake 10-12 mins. or until lightly browned and heated through, turning once.

We love to dip these in cocktail sauce, ketchup, or chili-garlic sauce (from the Asian section of the grocery store), depending on how much spice we're feeling that night.

Enjoy, and let me know if you try these!

16 (er, almost 17) week belly shot: movin' and shakin'

Well, it's official; Tadpole and I have a new due date: January 7th. And just the fact that I managed to get the date changed reminds me why I love The Birth Center. My ultrasound said Jan. 7th, but most doctors wouldn't change a due date based on that, since it's only a 6 day difference from my earlier January 1st date. Fortunately, I have both very understanding midwives and additional evidence supporting a Jan. 7th due date. The midwives and I have determined that I ovulate on week 3, not week 2 like most women, supported by lots of evidence, including the fact that Lyndon was exactly a week "late". (Incidentally, I'm pretty sure he also measured a week behind on his early ultrasound, but nobody thought to change things around then. Now they know better.)

So, my "12 week" shot was actually an "11 week" shot, and so on. But now we've got our act together. So on to the pictures!

Isn't that bathroom lighting just glorious? Yeah, I know. It was the best I could do.

Close-up of the belly. I pretty much look pregnant now, instead of just fat, as long as I wear a shirt that fits closely, not one of those circus tent numbers.

Exciting news this week: I've started feeling little Tadpole move! Both the ultrasound tech and every midwife that's tried to find a heartbeat has commented on how much this little one has been moving, and I concur. It's not a strong enough feeling to stop me in my tracks just yet, but there are plenty of moments throughout the day, especially if I'm sitting down, when I can tell that Tadpole is all kinds of active in there. It's comforting to know he/she is alive and well, but it's a little scary to think about having a child that's that active. Then again, Lyndon was a mover, too, and he's turning out to be the best kid I could have wished for. So, no worries.

Two more weeks until our next ultrasound, when the all-important question will (should) be answered: boy or girl?

12 week belly shot: hello stretchy pants

I've been doing a little internal happy dance for myself and Tadpole all day today, because we've reached the magical 12 week mark! Yes, ladies and gentlemen (any gentlemen readers out there?), chances are good that the two of us are in it for the long haul now. Mmmmm, yay.

Morning sickness has been kept to a minimum, thankfully. I've had a few rough days, but nothing some rest, snacks, and midwife-approved herbal tea couldn't cure. I was seriously exhausted for a while there, but that seems to be lifting, as well. No longer do I pass out the second Lyndon is down and awaken 2 hours later with lines on my face. Nope, those days seem to be gone. (For now. Ask me again in December.)

Ok, so on to the fun pictures:

12 week belly shot (sorry about the fuzziness)

See the elastic panel on my shorts? Yeah. I have a feeling it's elastic-waist pants from here on out. I put on my normal jeans yesterday, then took them off and put them in storage in the guest room. There was just no way. Even the old rubber band-through-the-buttonhole-trick didn't help.

I'm kind of embarrassed to be in maternity clothes already, but on another level, I'm not. I was never one of those types to hold out as long as I could before making the switch. (The buttonhole trick was done out of pure budgetary concern last time.) I figure, if I can be comfortable and still look decent, why in the heck wouldn't I? I'm going to be uncomfortable enough a few months from now; why start earlier than I have to? Granted, last time, this attitude left me fairly tired of my limited wardrobe come 40 weeks, but we'll deal with that later. For now, it's elastic pants all the way.

Happy 2nd trimester, little Tadpole.

6 week belly shot: already having trouble with my skinny jeans

When I was pregnant with Lyndon, I wore my normal pants and shorts until I was about 5 months along. I did have to wrap a rubber band around the button and thread it through the button-hole for some extra wiggle room, but that was it. This time around, it ain't gonna happen. At 6 weeks:

Yikes! And those are my "comfy" jeans. My normal jeans start to get uncomfortable around 3 pm, and I have to either unbutton or make the switch to something more forgiving.

As excited as I am to look pregnant, I have to say that I'm having a hard time with this whole showing earlier thing. I'm afraid it will extend the awkward "Are you pregnant or just putting on weight?" stage that I hated so much last time.

Then again, we might just reach the fun "obviously pregnant" stage that much sooner. Only time will tell. One thing's for sure, though: this time around, I am definitely buying some maternity shorts.

two little monkeys jumping on the bed...

Lyndon loves that song. You know the one, "Five little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped his head . . .", and then of course, we have four monkeys, then three, then two, then one. There are lots of songs that count backwards like that: "Sally the Camel", "Five Green Speckled Frogs", etc.

But around here, we're not counting backwards anymore. Because we already have one little monkey. And now we're about to have two.

That's right, folks. Sometime this winter, our little family of three will become four. Or five. (I always wanted twins, and you just never know!)

Either way, there will be plenty of little monkeys jumping on my bed. :-)