Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Weary

*Update* As I read this post over, I realized that it sounds very whiney. Yes, today is a little tough. But it's not nearly as bad as it could be. So, let me offer some perspective. Today I am grateful that . . .

-- although I am physically uncomfortable, I am not in nearly as much pain as I used to be this time of the month. Having a baby, it seems, has been very good for my body.
-- although Lyndon is sick, he is not terminally, chronically, or mysteriously ill. I have never known the heart-wrenching anxiety of wondering if my child will live until tomorrow.We have never even been to the ER.
-- although getting ready for a new school year is taxing, my husband has a job... a good job... that he likes (most days)... and that pays all the bills.

*Original Post*
The other day, I read this post entitled "Strength for a Weary Mom". It encouraged me in the way that all wonderful, biblical truths do, but it didn't feel particularly applicable. I only have one child, who is at an age where caring for him is fairly easy most of the time. He's sleeping through the night but not crawling around the house yet. Eating solid food but not needing it. Taking two naps a day but no longer napping all the time. Life is good.

I planned, therefore, to put away this post and the accompanying verses in my mind until I needed them . . . maybe when I have a willful toddler on my hands, or maybe when the second little one comes along. In other words, not for a while.

And then, yesterday, Lyndon woke up with the mother of all colds, my body informed me that I am *ahem* capable of getting pregnant again, and Adrian reminded me that his kids start school tomorrow, so he needs his new school clothes washed and ironed.

And in the midst of constant nose wiping (and bulb syringing and soothing and rocking and middle-of-the-night fussing), cramps and headaches and exhaustion while the iron drains out of my body, and seemingly endless loads of grown-up laundry today, I remembered that post. I remembered those verses. I'll give you a taste . . .

"Galatians 6:9 says: 'Let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.' May I encourage you to hold onto this verse as you seek to faithfully sow into the lives of your little ones? The harvest won't come today. And it won't come tomorrow. Maybe not even next year or the year after that.

But we must be faithful to sow today. Faithful to train. Faithful to teach. Faithful to discipline. Faithful to love. Or, as it says in this passage, faithful to "do good." And we must trust God that He will fulfill His promises, that we will reap a harvest in due season if we do not give up."

Lord, in the midst of weariness, let me be "faithful to sow today".

Thursday, August 12, 2010

mad skills

This post brought to you by...

gross motor skills.

Things like sitting...


pushing up...


and rolling over...


are Lyndon's new full-time job. :-)

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

"Wherever you are...

... be all there." -- Jim Elliot

We decided this week that, since God obviously wants us here, here is where we're going to be... not just in a geographical sense, but in an emotional sense as well. We're going to make this our home, not just a place we're living. And if we move next year, then we move next year, but we will have lived every moment in this town as if we belonged here, not as if we were just hanging on until we could go somewhere else.

It felt great to decide that. I hadn't realized how temporary this place was starting to feel to me. It didn't feel like a home at all, and I was reluctant to make it one because I constantly felt like we were about to move on. But now I feel like I can put my energy into this place-- this house, this neighborhood, this church, these people-- and there isn't an imminent move looming over my head. I feel like I can finally settle down a little. I can love what I have, not pine for what I don't.

As a small expression of that, Adrian and I did something on Saturday that was on my to-do list back in May but got postponed when we found out we were pregnant...


We painted our bedroom.

Now, you may not realize how momentous this was. Keep in mind that we've had paint chips on the wall opposite our bed for over a year. They were there every morning and evening, reminding us that our room looked exactly like it did the day we moved in. But now it doesn't.

I don't have any "before" pictures, but you know what "contractor's white" looks like, right? Imagine that. Then look at this...

It's a lovely Pottery Barn yellow (mixed by Wal-Mart) that changes with the light, so it looks happy in the morning, but cozy in the evening. Adrian woke up at 7 on Sunday and remarked that our room looked "about 10 different shades of yellow". He then started talking about how we could do an accent wall above our bed.

Sounds like somebody's caught the painting bug. Master bathroom, here we come! So glad to be here.

Monday, August 2, 2010

debt

Get. out. of. debt. . . like, now.

(If you can, that is.)

I listened to a sermon the other day that compared debt to slavery (actually, it was Proverbs 22:7 that made the comparison), and I remember thinking, "Okay, so debt isn't the best thing in the world, but 'slavery'? That's a little extreme. I mean, everyone has a mortgage, and pretty much all of our friends have had some kind of school debt at one time or another. We financed a car, and nothing bad has happened to us."

Adrian and I discussed it and decided that yes, paying down our debt is probably the best use of any extra money we have right now, but we're not going to go crazy and try to get rid of it all next month or anything. We've made peace with our debt.

And then today happened. And now I am completely disgusted at our debt.

Let me explain. For a while now, we've been trying to get rid of Adrian's ridiculous 50 minute commute. We know that either he has to find a job closer to home, or we have to find a home closer to his job. It's been looking like the latter is our best option, so we've been looking at houses on and off. Every time we get close to one, it seems, something goes wrong, and we have to walk away. Then we found today's house.

Cute little 3 bedroom, 2 bath, in immaculate condition, with plenty of space for a growing family, on 1/2 acre, within walking distance of Adrian's job. And the price was right. Or so we thought. We knew where our 3 1/2 percent down was coming from, and the money that would go back into our pockets with no 50 minute commute (gas, insurance, car repairs, the cost of owning a second car) would more than make up for a slightly higher mortgage payment. Then we called the FHA people to talk shop.

They rejected us. Because of our debt. Apparently, your total debt, mortgage included, can only equal a certain percentage of your total income. And ours was way too high. After he recovered from the shock, Adrian asked, "So, based on your program's system, how much house can we afford?" Her answer: less than we currently have.

I've never felt so much like a slave in my life.

Seriously. If you can, get. out. of. debt.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

mom's chore schedule

I am an organized person by nature, but not a particularly methodical one. Does that make any sense?

What I mean is that I love, love, love planners, containers, filing systems, etc., but they don't necessarily make me want to live the kind of orderly, structured life that they promise.

This is particularly true when it comes to cleaning my house. Unlike some housewives, I find no fulfillment in cleaning. Yes, it feels good for a few minutes to look at the "nice clean *whatever*", but then I think about all the work it took to get to that point and all the work I'm going to have to do in another few days, week, month, etc. to get it that way again, and suddenly, I don't feel fulfilled any more.

These attitudes have resulted in some very sporadic housekeeping. I clean things when I notice that they're dirty, not before, and I prioritize anything gross or particularly anxiety-inducing over anything that isn't. A smelly fridge or a dirty toilet wins over a dusty dresser any day. Every day. Day after day. The only problem is that then the dresser never gets dusted. And, eventually, dust is just as unhealthy as a dirty toilet.

Now, I've tried chore schedules before. You know the type: "Monday is bathroom day; Tuesday is laundry day, etc.". They never worked for me for longer than a week or two. But, the other day, I realized that the time had come to reinstate one. I made it official and put it on the fridge. Everything's on there: bathrooms, dusting, grocery shopping, everything. It's working fairly well so far, probably because I'm not being too rigid about it. If I miss something, it's not a big deal. If I'm committed to washing the kitchen floor every Thursday, then if I miss it once, at least it'll still get done every other week, which is probably more often than I was doing it. It's made things significantly simpler: I know what I need to do at a glance, and most of the chores are quick enough that I can do them during Lyndon's morning nap. Only time will tell if I can stick to it, but it's looking good. I may make a good housekeeper yet!