the joys of Craigslist

Adrian and I decided recently that we have to follow our budget more carefully. We also decided that while it sounds good to pledge to cut out every fun, impulsive purchase from our lives, in reality, it'll probably make us feel like a couple of penny-pinching Scrooges.

So we came up with a compromise. All "real" money goes towards responsible, grown-up things: mortgage, food, utilities, etc.. All "fun" money goes towards fun things. "Fun" money is defined as coming from somewhere other than our steady, grown-up jobs: birthdays, Christmas, extra work, etc.. Until recently, our "fun" money has been sparse and unpredictable, appearing mostly on holidays. Then, last week, while moving some furniture, we decided to sell something on Craigslist and made an amazing discovery.

There is a lot of fun money out there.

Since then, we have sold 4 items: furniture and some childhood paraphernalia. Our garage is cleaner, and the "fun" money jar keeps filling up. We told Adrian's parents about our unexpected success, and they saw it as a chance to clean out their basement. They gave us more items to sell, glad to get rid of some clutter and let someone else do the work of taking pictures, listing items, responding to potential buyers, and making the final transaction. Now, word has gotten out to Adrian's grandmother, who apparently has a whole basement full of furniture, etc. that might be worth a look.

Now, we know we're not going to get rich off of Craigslist, and, really, that's not the point. The point is to feel like we don't have to nickel-and-dime every single DVD or cup of coffee. The point is to be able to do something for ourselves, for someone else, or just for the fun of it every now and then without worrying about where the money is coming from.

Although, the saver in me sees student loan payments every time that money changes hands. I'm just sayin'. :-)

babies, part 2: less words; more pictures!

I realized the other day that my last few posts have been very . . . ehm . . . verbose. Thoughtful, if you will. And there's no harm in that. Writing is really the part of blogging that I love, anyway. But, one must have lovely pictures as well if one is to have an interesting blog. So, I will indulge a bit . . .

showing off his 5 1/2 month skills (and looking quite surprised by the camera)

more skills; more surprise (I love this expression.)

Look! A girl baby! They do exist! (although we had to go all the way to Baltimore to find one)

Isn't she beautiful? And so feminine already.

I wanted to get a picture of the two of them together, but Lyndon was having a very wiggly day, and we were afraid he would flail around and smack her by accident. Her mom said she'd probably sleep through it. I doubted it; I've been smacked by Lyndon's flailing too many times before. He's all boy, already. Just as she seems to be all girl. (We've already started planning the wedding.) ;-)

Babies! (and other thoughts on family)

We found out this week that friends of ours are expecting their fifth (that's right, fifth) child. They already have 4 boys under the age of 7, including a set of twins. When we heard they were expecting, our first thoughts were, "Oh, they'll definitely be looking to move, then." They live in a little 3 bedroom town house, with the other two bedrooms being just about big enough for a set of bunk beds and a dresser. Turns out, they're planning to stay right where they are. We were flabbergasted. (Fantastic word, btw, flabbergasted.)

And then we were a little convicted.

You see, when we talk about how many kids we want, most of the time I throw around numbers like "twelve" and "sixteen" just for the shock value (although I do want a bunch), and Adrian counters with numbers like "two" and "three", citing his less-than-extravagant teachers' salary. We usually settle on a wait-and-see mentality, agreeing to have as many children as we can afford.

But after talking with our friends, I have a whole new understanding of the word "afford". This couple is willing to sacrifice just about anything, it seems, in order to grow their family. They'll give up not only luxuries, but what some people would consider necessities (like a bedroom for 4 that doesn't involve trundle beds) for the sake of being able to have as many children as they feel God has for them. No, their children won't have all the latest toys. They probably won't even have many new clothes (she's really good at shopping Goodwill). Their meals are simple, their vehicles used. But they're happy. Incredibly, deliriously happy.

I want that. I want to fill this house with happy, loud voices. I want to tell my MSC* that they sound like elephants coming down the stairs. I want to raise, train, teach, shape, mold, discipline, and cherish.

Now all I need is another one on the way (don't get excited; it hasn't happened yet).


*many small children, see also: MckMama

I'm totally jealous...

So, we went to visit some friends of ours this afternoon who were expecting their first child. When we left their house at 3pm, the mom-to-be was complaining of a few cramps here and there, nothing special. Around 7:45pm, we got a text message from the dad-to-be that she was 5cm dilated, her water had just broken, and they were at the hospital. We just received a text message that her little girl was born at 8:21pm.

This means her TOTAL labor was no longer than 6 hours, and she dilated 5cm AND pushed a baby out in about 30 mins.

Compare this to MY labor story (upwards of 30 hours), and you can understand why I'm more than a little jealous.

Congratulations to the happy new family!

the beach: in summary

Well, we came home yesterday from our big beach trip, amid 4th of July traffic, motion sickness, and diaper blowouts. When we opened the door to our house, we discovered that our cats had both puked and peed on our carpet, and that there was not a scrap of food in the pantry or fridge.

Welcome home, right?

And, since then, I have been asked about half a dozen times, how was your vacation? And, despite the cheery pictures, I've had to answer, okay. Not great or terrific, but okay.

You see, in my opinion, our vacation wasn't any of those wonderful superlatives. I thought, at first, that I was just being my pessimistic self, seeing only the bad and assuming the good didn't exist. But Adrian agrees with me. We didn't have a great time last week.

And it's our own fault. I went to the beach expecting to do certain things and go certain places together, both as a family and as a couple. Adrian went expecting to relax and take a break from normal life. Neither of us got what we wanted, because we neglected to consider not only the desires of our other half, but also the demands of our little guy. We realized that, deep down, we were both thinking about this trip selfishly. We both wanted to do what we wanted, when we wanted, and that ship sailed the day we became parents.

Now, I'm not saying that children are a terrible burden and I wish we'd never had one. We love our little guy as much as is humanly possible and get a tremendous amount of joy out of raising him, but it's an undeniable fact that if mom and dad want peace and quiet, and a baby wants something else, the baby wins. Parenthood is a neverending job, which seems like an obvious point until you stop and think about it. Never. Ending.

This past week, we were forced to stop and think about what our new job descriptions mean. We talked about what we expect from vacations in the future. We lowered our expectations a bit. And we agreed to stop being so darn selfish!

This year's vacation could have been the most fun it's ever been. We're a family. We have a little smile-machine to enjoy. But we spent so much time arguing, blaming, and accusing that we missed out. I'm glad that we had this experience, because it forced us to talk about some things we'd been ignoring. I just wish we  somehow could have gotten all the unpleasantries out of the way before our vacation. Then we could have had a great (instead of an okay) time enjoying the beach and each other.

the beach: day 6

9:03am-- at the lighthouse

the beach: day 5

1:23pm-- Beach 101: Intro. to Sand